With A Grain of Salt…Or Maybe Two

Date: January 23, 2009

Today started off good, but ended up horribly; but, let’s start at the beginning.

I am not sleeping well here. What I mean to say is that, although I am sleeping through the night, I have trouble falling asleep, and then in the morning, I wake up exhausted. The simple truth is I am not really comfortable here. I am sure the hard bed does not help, but I think it is more related to the fact that I cannot, or have yet to, become comfortable here. Funny enough, I never had this problem when I was living in Santa Chiara. I guess being around Americans helped me, who knows. Anyway, I woke up this morning, tired, and threw on some clothes, brushed my hair and teeth, then went to the kitchen to round up some breakfast (Yogurt, berries, gluten free cookies, and coffee). The sun was out this morning, and covered the entire valley in fog making it seem like we were above the clouds. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera, but I am sure there will be many more moments like this.
Afterwards Alice said we- herself, Elia, and I- were going to Castiglion Fiorentino to see the market (open on Fridays) and to buy me an Italian cell phone and some art supplies. There wasn’t much to see in the market. Actually, I have bought next to nothing since I have been here. The cell phone only cost me 45 euros, and the art things were 23, plus the 150 Euros I paid for Angelo to meet me at the airport and get me on the train to Arezzo. In the beginning I was thinking this would be an expensive year for me, but now I see that there will be no reason for me to draw money out of my account, except for when I buy a plane ticket to see one of my pen pals. On our way back to the car, I ran into Bobo, an old man who ran a little coffee bar close to Santa Chiara, which I visited almost every morning to eat breakfast. In the two years since I have seen him, I have sent him a few cards and things, and when I saw him on the street I knew him instantly. I smiled and waved. Blank. He didn’t know me from Adam. I walked up to him and told him I was Casey. Still Blank. “Casey Adams” I said. “OH!” Finally some recognition, because for just a moment I was worried I had the wrong man. We talked a little, it was difficult to understand him, but I told him I would come to see him as soon as I learned to ride the Vespa well; which, by the way, does not look like it is going to be any time soon. It started raining tonight, and is suppose to rain all day tomorrow.
I was glad to see Bobo, we parted with a hug. Afterwards, we all headed to a baby store where Alice bought a gift for a friend’s baby. Then we headed home. Oh, here is an interesting tidbit: Alice had to stop at the pet store in Rigutino because she was out of cat food, and apparently the local mail man delivers her mail to this store instead of to her house. During the summertime, he actually makes the drive up the mountain, but in the winter he says it is too long a drive for him so he leaves her mail at the pet store. Alice says he is just lazy.
When we came back home Alice made a frittata with asparagus, some cooked carrots, and rice. The frittata was really very good. The worst part about lung was Elia. In fact, you may notice that I have not spoken much of the child I am supposed to be teaching. Well, I guess it was an involuntary action, but I can tell you he is a handful and makes me so tired I can’t believe it. Every time he screams, which is about once an hour, I feel like I have been here an eternity. Being an only child to parents who thought they would never have children, well, he is naturally a spoiled boy. Also, he has a kind of cold right now, snot running down his nose and all, so that is incredibly unpleasant. Alice is insistent on him, he is about a month away from being two, learning to eat with a fork and spoon on his own, off of his own plate. Of course, he is use to getting his way and having others feed him. So, every time we sit down and tell him to eat with a fork it is screaming like there is no tomorrow, and not just for a minute. Today he screamed throughout lunch. I never get mad, but it is so draining. All I want to do is be away from him. He is smart, already he has started learning the names of colors in English, but this is also a curse because he knows just what to do when I tell him something he does not want to hear. Well, needless to say, lunch was stressful. The thing that gets me through the day is knowing I am going to talk to mom directly after lunch. I left Alice to put him down for his daily afternoon nap, and bee lined to the computer room.
After talking with mom, Micchi was on the couch and curled up in my lap once I sat down beside her. I didn’t have long to read before Elia woke up and was into everything. To be honest, this job was not what I thought it was going to be. I thought I was going to have so much free time, but honestly my day consists of playing or watching Elia. In the morning, I put away the things from breakfast, in the afternoons I keep him occupied while Alice makes lunch, in the evenings I have him when Alice and Alfonso are at work. And since Alfonso comes home and immediately turns on the TV, Elia still calls for me to come and play with him. This is a full time job people. Another interesting tidbit for you: Today Alice told me that she had talked with Alfonso last night and said she told him that when he comes home, he should spend at least one hour, without the TV on, with Elia. Then, she asked me, what do you think of this? A red flag went up instantly. I mean, this is one of those questions that you can never answer correctly, and I didn’t want my answer to come back and bite me. I told her that it seemed like a nice idea, and that it would be helpful to Elia. She agreed, and I didn’t say any more about it. Truth be told, I know next to nothing about Alfonso. When he is not in the bar, he does construction work on the side and is gone all day. I think he seems nice, but I don’t want him to not like me because of my supporting Alice’s demands, or always agreeing with her. But, to be honest, I don’t think he really cares.
An Italian teacher of mine once told me that Italian men become extremely distant from the family once the wife has a baby, and I guess this must be true. Although Alfonso loves Elia and Alice, there is something about his manner that is a little distant. For instance, the night I put Elia to bed and Alice was crying so violently, Alfonso was sprawled out on the other sofa watching TV.
I had thought once Alice and Alfonso left to work in the Restaurant, Elia would be shrieking. However, I was surprised. He sat on the couch and played legos with me for about an hour, then when to his construction trucks for a while before he started wondering where Mom and Dad were. When he did cry it wasn’t too violent, and I could always regain his intrest with the help of the legos or some other toy. Then, Alfonso brought up some food Alice had made for Elia and I. She had made me a pizza, and Elia minestrone soup. He took one look at the soup, wouldn’t eat it, looked at my pizza and reached like he was going to put his hands in it. When I stopped him, he shrieked and cried for Alfonso pointing at me when he came in with tears running down his face. Alfonso gave him a fork and two pieces of cooked pancetta, he wasn’t interested. He wanted what was on my plate. When I told him no he started screaming again for Alfonso. Eventually, he ate the pancetta, while Alfonso stayed in the kitchen, and made him three hotdogs (sans bun). I had told Elia he could not simply take what was on my plate, and of course, to undermine me he looked at his dad and pointed to the pizza. Alfonso looked at me and said, maybe you could give him a little. I don’t think he likes the minestrone. Elia knew then that he had won, and I couldn’t do anything. No matter what I did from that point on, it was useless. When I didn’t give him enough pizza he cried for Alfonso, and he came into the kitchen yet again. I told Alfonso then I thought it was confusing for Elia to say one night, no you eat what is on your plate and the next okay, you can have what is on my plate. He seemed to agree, but did not say too much. After he watched me give him a little more pizza he finally left to get back to the bar, just enough time to ruin every shred of my authority. Well, by this time I was pretty pissed. As soon as Alfonso left Elia started screaming for his dad and mom at the top of his lungs, and I just ignored him. I put the dishes in the dishwasher, cleaned the table, and his high chair, and sat him facing the wall in the living room. I was not about to pick him up just to have him scream in my ear. At that point, there was nothing I could do or say to stop him. I had to either wait for him to pass out or for Alice to come home. In about 10 minutes, the latter occurred. She asked me what had happened, smiling. And I told her about Alfonso, and the whole situation at dinner. I told her that from now one, when Elia and I eat alone, we need to eat the exact same thing. She was surprised to hear he would not eat because he likes soup with vegetables a lot. I asked her what exactly she was expecting of me, what she wanted me to do with Elia, etc. She said she thought it would be best if I were the one, for a week, who when at the table told Elia to eat with a fork, or to not stand, etc. She thought this would establish my authority, and in turn she said she and Alfonso would be silent and not contradict me. To me, this is so odd because most parents I know never, under any circumstances, accept another person scolding their child. I thought about what she had said and came back to her and told her, in English, that if at any time she decided she just wanted me to teach him English, and not all of the extra stuff, then to tell me, and I would understand. I realized then that she is tired of trying to train him properly; I guess it was not going so well for her, and said she was happy to relinquish the duty to me, but would take it back on if she needed to. I still feel a little awkward about this. But, we will see how it goes. Through my headphones I can hear Alice and Alfonso in the midst of a “discussion”, not quite capable of being a fight because they finally got Elia to sleep, but it doesn’t sound like they are agreeing on what they are talking about.
I wonder if I would have been happier has just a nanny. I wonder if I should not have taken a position when I got my own room, and actual room, and bathroom, and had a little detachment. I wonder if I am going to get tired of disciplining Elia. Alice is the light in this house, and I think, the only reason I am not crying over missing my mom. Maybe I have too much free time now. Tomorrow, I am going to ask Alice to show me how to do the lace crochet stuff she does, or help me with my trip to Germany, or look for French classes. Maybe I will even take a walk in the rain. All I know is that tonight ended on a bad note for me. I am tired and maybe a little worried about the future, and when I am worried or stressed I miss my home that much more. To think, I am sleeping in room with varmints when there is a practically palatial room for me at home.

Now, to Jason, I would like to say thank you for leaving your thoughtful comments at the end of every post. I check every day to see if someone has written in to add their two cents to my blog, and I can always count on you. It puts a little light in my day. Thanks Jay!

Aunt Linda, excatly where do you put the epsom salt? Do you sprinkle it in corners and around the edge of the room? Or do you leave it in little sacks like you would with lavander?

Someone please pray I start sleeping well at night! I could use a little help here.