A Movie to Lift Your Spirits?

Date: January 24, 2009

I did not sleep well again last night; although I slept until 9:30. As always I was woken up by the sound of crashing legos and crazy screams. Maybe Elia is the reason I am not sleeping well. I am so tense because I know, I am expecting, a crashing blast every morning. It’s like the difference between those who wake up to the sound of a harsh beep, and those who wake up to classical music. Or, maybe I am just tired of being here, and being in the rain. I got up and got dressed like I do every morning. Went downstairs to brush my teeth and hair, ate breakfast, and then decided to do something a little different. For a while now I have felt obligated to play with Elia. Since Alfonso is out mostly during the day, and Alice is left at home cleaning this and that, making lunch, etc, I have felt the need to keep Elia occupied. To play with him and try to teach him new words, but also some manners. But, I am tired of all that now. It was never in my job description to try to raise this kid, only to speak with him in English while I was to watch him. So this morning, I pulled out Jane Austen (my stress reliever and the only person around me who speaks English) and read on the sofa until lunchtime. It was nice. Even though I heard Elia screaming, with joy and anger, I just was able to tune it out and take a little me time. Of course it has been raining cats and dogs all day so I have not been able to get outside and walk around.
When lunchtime came, I was resolved to say nothing. Alice had said to me the night before, I should be the one to tell Elia to eat with a fork and sit when we are at the table, etc. But, I did not say much of anything, and Alfonso and Alice just went about lunch as usual. It has gotten to the point where Elia just starts screaming once we put his bib on him. Like he is trying to wear everyone down even before we have started eating. So, he ate most of what was on his plate, and then started spitting out these little tomatoes after he had chewed them for a bit. Alice had prepared for him a piece of bread, with oil and salt, which is his treat, and was prepared to give it to him after he had eaten one more tomato. Well, he kept doing the same thing, screaming, putting a tomato in his mouth, chew and scream, then spit it out. Alice fought with him for about ten minutes then said to him. ‘From now on no more spitting out food’, and handed him the piece of bread. I knew then that this was not a good situation and that it was Alice and Alfonso that had created such a little rotten child.
By the time I was talking to mom, I was really upset about the situation. I told her what all had happened and I was, I am, worried that every time he does not get what he wants, which are his parents when I am watching him, that he will scream and shriek until they come home. She gave me some advice, but the best was to just go and put on a movie in my room while Elia was asleep and the house was quiet. I felt much more relaxed after I had taken a few hours to travel back to the USA in my head. By the way, Jason, I am sorry to say that I only just now realized the DVD you gave me for Christmas is a bad disc. For some reason, it just will not play. Not to worry though, I think I am just going to buy it through Itunes.
Then it was time for Alice and Alfonso to go to work. Alice left at six, and Alfonso had already gone. We played peek-a-boo which he loves, and worked with learning the colors and playing legos. Then, Alfonso came in to change. Suddenly, all Elia wanted to do was play with Elia, and I just sat in the living room while Elia follow Alfonso all over the house. After Alfonso had changed, the fun was over. He said ‘goodbye’ to Elia, and the second his hand touched the door he started screaming. I tried to get him to come back and play legos with me, I even started singing. However, he was determined to scream for almost an entire hour. He would have screamed more, but Alfonso came back in with dinner. He was suppose to just meet me at the door, but I guess he feels he will do what he wants, when he wants, because he just sauntered on in for Elia to see him. We got the table set up and I put some pasta on his plate. Elia had just put a few pieces of pasta in his mouth when Alfonso turned to leave. All of the pasta went falling out of his mouth when he started shrieking for his dad. He continued shrieking for the next forty minutes until Alice came in; she had finished with work early. Once she came in he almost immediately stopped crying, and she was talking to him saying, “oh, my little one, do you want a little meat? A little bread?” He ate while she sat there. It was not that he did not like the pasta, he did, but he just doesn’t like me being here instead of his parents. I cleaned my plate, and went to call mom. I heard Alice say as I was leaving “Elia, you need to be good and not cry when I leave and eat with Casey”.
Mom said I needed to go back in and talk to Alice, which I did after she had put Elia to sleep. She asked me what had happened and I told her the whole story. How I had tried to comfort him by singing, and playing, but he would not have any of it. She gave me some more ideas, but, I told her, I will leave if this does not get better. I cannot stay in a place-especially during the summer, can you imagine sitting through five full hours of shrieking?-when he clearly does not like me. She, on the other hand, thought I was over reacting. She said, well it has only been four days, and maybe he just does not have any trust in you yet, but each day it will get better and better, and he is so small and probably confused…. I think you know how the rest went. Well, in my experience, when people would drop their babies off at Sunday school, if they would really leave for the full hour, I had no problem getting them to start playing and forget about their parents being gone. If Elia had wanted to get use to me, he would have last night, and I know for certain that tonight was even worse than last night. In some ways I am dreading today because I have him for both lunch and dinner. Even now, I can hear him downstairs and every time his mom leaves the room he runs after her like she is never coming back, he did not do this when I first came here. I don’t know what is going to happen, but I will do my best to try and make this work. I will take Alice’s advice, but if within a month, this is not any better, I am going to have to leave. I am not going to call STA to change my ticket date until I know this will work out. If not, maybe I will try to find other families and start over again. Right now, I am going to put my efforts into this family. Funny enough, getting along with Elia was never something I was worried about. Maybe I was worried about how heavy my suitcases were, or what the weather would be like, or the fact that there is only one bathroom, but never if I could have a good relationship with a child. It’s funny how the things you never expect sneak up on you. Expect the unexpected, but exactly how do you expect what you cannot expect?