Just Call Me Wednesday

I just bought my ticket to Italy. In two months I will be leaving for another world, the old world. Living for a year without many of the comforts of home, and certainly without the stress of day to day life.

Perhaps I will even change my name. My French friend's boyfriend calls me Wednesday, in French of course, because of my last name. Normally I hate "Adams Family" jokes, but I loved this. A change of scene, a change of name, and a quick change of life are all you need to remind you of who you once were before the stress of work, and money, and, well, life. I shall be Wednesday Adams, traveller extraordinaire, European aficionado, master of languages.

I have been thinking a lot lately about my dreams. I gave up on my dream to be an editor after I left college. I was so focused on getting back home, and being with my family, and actually making money, that I let that dream fall by the way side. Honestly though, even if I had decided to work around Texas as an assistant editor, I would have probably not liked it. I wish I could go to film school NOW. I was so insecure of my abilities as a film student in college and I hardly ever felt good about my work as a filmmaker. When someone brought to my attention that I had actually given up on my dream to edit films, I was shocked. My first reaction was 'No! That's not true. I didn't give up on my dream, I just left it on the bench for a while.' But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I left my dream on a bench fifty miles behind me. Perhaps I would have become famous, or even just more confident in my abilities as an Editor, or perhaps I would have hated making no money, and going nowhere. I do not want to give up on this dream. I want to make this work. I want to learn to speak Italian, French, German, and Russian. I want to have fun while I am learning and meet new people, and so what if I am not making much money, I have nice things that are waiting for me back home in my closet.

I have shaped up, now it is time to ship out.

The Comforts of Home

There is a cocoon of clouds around the city this morning. Gray fog sits watching all of the cars, slow and fast, make their way to work. It looks like winter, but feels like fall; and I like it. I stopped in at the Starbucks across the street from my office, which happens to be attached to a bookstore. I was pleasantly surprised to find that, not only was the shop not busy, but they still had several packs of my favorite snack, the "Power Protein Pack" or something like that. I ordered my coffee, which I was not really wanting, but how can you go into Starbucks and NOT get a coffee. So, while I was waiting for my brew, I happened to glance over at the bookmarks rounder, and felt an instant kind of comfort. Like the comfort you feel when you have been away from home for too long, or like realizing your love for something all over again. To me, bookstores, libraries, they are like preschool. You know the bookstore is not your home, but it still has all of the emotional comforts of home surrounding you. I think it is so sad that some people just do not read. How can you not love to read? In a story, so so many more things can happen because they take place in your imagination, and what's more, every story is different to every reader. I do not think it is important to read what other people think is great, I think it is important to read what you think is great. So, if you love serial romances, then go on and read them, or trashy mysteries, do not be embarrassed. After all, someone out there took the time and energy to create that story and it deserves to be loved.

The Daily Grind

Well, I am back from Italy, and back to reality. Well, reality as I know it right now. I have officially decided to quit my job, and not feel bad about it. I am putting in my two weeks notice on December 10 (there are no bonuses in my line of work so no point in staying until January), and I cannot wait to be out of here. Today is a fairly relaxed day, I seem to be slipping under the radar for now. I guess the impression of my extenuated absence is still holding a thin veil around me and so I am allowing my mind to wander for a while. Okay, well that is not completely true. I am mostly focused on lunch. Every thirty seconds my eyes gaze hungrily at the clock and my stomach becomes more and more vexed at the slowness of the minute hand. Other than my prevailing hunger, I am mostly thinking about how nice it will be to finally be rid of this toxic office. You know, "The Daily Grind" is really an appropriate slogan for a horrible job. Each day your colleagues, boss, and just the office in general grate away at your heart and soul.

But, I am mostly happy now. There are only 31 more days of actual work before I am moving on with my life, so I am doing my best to spend little and save big. In the past few months I have been stocking up on everything from Jo Malone to Kooba bags, and of course, stocking up on nice pieces of clothing. I know after I leave this job, money is going to be tight. And now that Obama is president, things are only going to get tighter. However, I will not be poor forever. One day I will regain the salary that I am giving up now. For now though, I am stocking up on lots of nice items, handling them with care, and doing my best to make them last while I am out and about in the world.

I am worried about my parents. My father has a successful small business, but with the new administration coming in, I wonder if we are going to be able to afford the new house we are building. I guess they are just going to try and finish it as quickly as possible, and hope for the best. I think we will be okay, but I know everyone with even the slightest bit of money is scared right now. No one knows what the future will hold. At least I am going to Italy this January. I will be getting out of this office, and learning to live and love like an Italian.