The Run Down

Dates: January 29-30, 2009

To make a long story short, I did not end up cooking dinner for the Italians because Mom forgot to send me an ingredients list. We did however, end up going to the store, and I finally got some hand lotion for my very dry hands, and was able to check a few other things off my “to buy” list, like a plant. I bought a peace lily that same day, and named her “Lucky Lucy”. I thought about giving it a male name, but quickly decided I was surrounded by too many little men right now, and what I really needed was a lady. The rest of the 29th was spent planning my outing in Arezzo for the following day. It took me a long time to find exactly what I needed on the internet, and was utterly dumfounded when I found out I cannot order anything online here. If I order something from an American website, like a webcam, I can ship it to Italy, but I have to worry whether customs will just take it, or whether they will not. And of course, on top of all this, Alice and Alfonso never check to see if there is any mail at the cat food store in Rigutino, so I probably would not know when it came in anyway. Then, I thought I would simply order from an Italian website. Well, I cannot do that either because none of my credit cards have a billing address in Italy. When I asked Alice and Alfonso if I could just use their card and pay them cash in hand, Alfonso told me he would rather me go to the computer stores around here just to make sure I get what I want. The problem with this is that none of the computer stores around here carry the camera I want, so I just said never mind and gave up my search.
People are really disconnected here. There are lots of people who do not have computers in their homes, and even more who are afraid, like Alice and Alfonso, to buy from the internet. It seems so bazaar to me, but what can you do. The only good part about this day was that, for dinner, the family decided to go out for pizza. We went about twenty minutes down the road to a little restaurant owned by Alfonso’s longtime friend. The food was good, but the company was better. Just moments after we arrived, another family, a mom and her daughter, stepped in. They all seemed to know each other right away, and I got started talking with the mom and daughter during dinner. Turns out the daughter, Elisa, is in middle school and taking English, Spanish, and German. I tried talking to her a little in English, but she was pretty embarrassed so I just talked in Italian most of the time. I was really happy to at least have the opportunity to talk with someone young. I also really liked the mother as well. Towards the end of the meal I told Elisa I would give her my email, and she could contact me if she was interested in meeting up in Arezzo. I told her she did not have to, but if she wanted, we could talk in English or Italian for a while after she was out of school. Her mom seemed really enthusiastic, and she seemed a little nervous. I do not know if she will actually get in touch with me, but I hope so.
The only other thing good to come out of this day was getting to watch an Italian TV show called “Scherzi a Parte”, basically “Punk’d”. It’s a group of people who play practical jokes on famous Italian people. I thought it was really funny, and it was very easy for me to understand. I could have stayed there watching it all night. The problem here is Alice does not like for the TV to be on, and for Elia to be watching it. Alfonso watches a little every night, but other than that, the TV is never on. So, I do not think I will get the chance to watch the TV show again, but maybe if I make some more friends, I can go over to their house to watch TV. Honestly, I do not see what is so wrong with TV anyway.
The next day was much much better. I woke up at eight, quickly got dressed and was out the door in about an hour with Alice and Elia. I had my day all planned out, and Alice dropped me off at my first destination in Arezzo, and then went off to run some errands and do the shopping for the restaurant. The baby boutique was awesome, and like most high end places in Italy, not everything is displayed for the window shopper. I went into the store, and the girl working was very friendly. I told her I was looking for something for my sister’s baby who wanted something very fabulous from Italy. She started showing me some puffer coats, and actually pulled out a white one with an all white fur trim collar. I thought it was pretty, but told her she was going to have a boy. “This IS for a boy she said, it’s very in fashion” she confirmed. “Clearly I know nothing about children” I said. Then I asked to see some things for the baby bed. That’s when the good stuff came out. I cannot reveal exactly what I have bought, it being a gift and all. All I can say is: I am going back to the store next week.
All in all I was done with my errands in Arezzo in about forty minutes. Since I had planned so well, I did not get lost and was able to buy a bookmark, a card, some more Clinique stuff, and baby clothes in a flash. I walked around the town for about two hours, just stopping here and there to see what was going on. I did end up taking a few photos, but I do not think I will post them until I know exactly what they are of. Next time I go to Arezzo, I will make sure I have some tourist info so I know exactly what I am looking at. The day started off so well, when I came back to Castiglion by train I was thinking I could really make this work. Certainly I was a little detached from the world, but I did really like Arezzo, and if I could get out more often things would just be better. Elia was still not allowing my presence, but now Alice was seeing how patient I was with him and how he never wanted me to help him, or play with him. Several times in the past few days she has said to him “Casey is very nice to you, and you are being very rude”. He never responds to this in any way, and within a few minutes life goes back to the way it was. Still, I thought this would be enough to kick start his getting along with me. That night though, was quite different. Alice said, to us both, at dinner how we needed to be patient, and how Elia needed to be good for me, blah blah blah. I was getting pretty sick and tired of hearing how “patient” I needed to be when I had never once yelled at him, forced him to do something he did not want to do, or get mad when he was rude to me. Still, I just kept my trap shut. Maybe it just made her feel better to say that to me.
When she left that night, he started wailing like always and I immediately turned on the TV. Alfonso came in not five minutes later and was clearly upset the TV was running. I told him the situation, how I always turn on the TV for a few minutes after he or Alice leaves, and he made of a point of stress just how little TV he wanted his son to watch. I told him I understood that, but this was very calming for him. Once dad was home, I could turn off the TV without any problems, and did just that. Yet, not three minutes later, Alfonso comes in to put the humidifier mask on Elia, for his cough, and immediately turns on the TV. This mask is something Elia hates, and the only way to get him to sit still is to turn on the TV. While Alfonso was doing this I made a point to comment on how good the TV was in situations like this (Elia was crying at the time). He just did a kind of nod and put the mask on Elia. After the medicine had been inhaled, Alfonso tried to turn off the TV, but Elia started crying. So he said, “okay just for five more minutes”, then left me with him and went to take a shower. After five minutes I turned off the TV, and of course he started crying. I tried to play with him, do everything that had been suggested to me. Still he would not stop crying. Alfonso left not too long after that, and I was able to get him to remain calm for about ten minutes before he started wailing for his mother. Clearly, it was time for the TV again. Not two minutes after it was on Alfonso came BACK up and was clearly peeved the TV was on again. I told him we had been playing but then Elia had started crying so I thought I would turn on the TV for just a minute. Elia had even sat down at the table to eat a little chicken and carrots before the crying fit started. This was not good enough for Alfonso and told me how it was important that tonight he not cry at all and that I needed to make funny faces for him and do this and do that. Well, I was sick of this man telling me to do things I was already doing, so when he told me for a second time how I needed to make funny faces I told him I did that, and I did sing to him, and I did hold him close to me, and I did pat his back, and I did always speak to him in Italian first and then English to make sure he understood me, and I did try to interest him with toys, and that he stilled cries. While he was there he would think of something else I could do, and I would confirm that I was already doing it. Alfonso left then, and Alice came to bring dinner, leaving it in the entry way like she always does. He ate for about fifteen minutes peacefully, then heard his mom and dad talking below, and thus began the one and a half hours of screaming, dribbling snot, and rolling tears. Mostly all he wanted was to be held, so I picked him up, and let his head rest on my shoulder, when I happened to pull him away to wipe his nose, there was a lake of snot of my shoulder. I sat him down, took off my V-neck sweater, and picked him back up, wiping his nose constantly. I put on some music, and he just did his best to wail over that. There were points when he would stop for a few minutes, but only to start again with renewed vigor. And, you would think a two year old would forget what exactly they are screaming about. Elia kept screaming Momma, Momma, Momma for the whole hour and a half. What he wanted, part of the time, was for me to turn the TV back on, but I was not about to get in trouble again with Alfonso and his surprise inspections. So I told Elia his mother said we could not watch the TV and of course this only brought on more screams. The only reason he stopped was because he had reached his breaking point. We sat together on the couch while he half heartedly turned the pages of a book in front of him. When I realized it was time to get him in bed, there was no fuss, we were both too tired. Since I had already changed his diaper when he was screaming, I just checked this one, and it was fine, I put PJs on him, and then Mom came in. He was happy to see her, but did not wail like normal (I guess there were no tears left). Alice asked me how things went and I told her everything. She was sad to hear it. The house was a wreck, I had not even had a moment to clean up after dinner, so I got started working on that while she told him how he needed to be good for me, and that she needed to work, etc. I was clearly weary, and she looked at me telling me to be tranquil. I stopped. I told her, in a reasonable voice I was always tranquil with him and that I never raised my voice, and that I always had patience with him, always. She nodded. I told Alice he was clearly unhappy with me, and how there are some people, that for whatever reason, babies just do not like, and that I might just be one of those people to him. She started to tell me no, but I told her yes. I have seen things like this before, and I know that some people a child will just not bond with. I told her how when she is gone, I can either take him down to see her at work, or I can turn on the TV, anything else, and he just cries. I told her that I wanted him to be happy, and it was clear he was not right now. At that she said perhaps it would be good if I spent more time with him. Like tomorrow she would leave him with me for twenty minutes, and then in a few more hours, I would have him for thirty. I did not say anything to this suggestion, but what I was thinking was “please God, no!” Dante wrote that the lowest ring of hell was a barren frozen wasteland where the devil watched over the people who were frozen up to their necks in ice. Well, clearly Dante had never been around a screaming two year old. I am not calling this child the devil, far from it, I just mean that I have exhausted every possible means to make him happy and to get him to want to play with me, and all he wants is his mom or the TV.
What I want to do is call the other family and ask if they still need someone to work for them. I mean, I love Arezzo, and I love Alice, and the mountain is a fun little place to hang out. But the truth is, I dread every time I have to be alone with Elia, and I can only imagine what the summer is going to be like, being with him every day. I mean, I cannot do that; the snot, the screaming, the inconsolability. Something is going to have to change.